Friday, July 13, 2007

The Chief Speaks

This is what happens when you tell your funniest joke, and the gulls don't get it.

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(I have asked our ailing Raggedy for a health update. Will transmit it here, if and when. Hang in there.)

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The old Chief sat in his hut on the reservation, smoking the ceremonial pipe, and eyeing the U.S. government officials sent to interview him.

"Chief Two Eagles," one official began. "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You have observed his wars and his material wealth. You have seen his progress and the damage he has done."

The Chief nodded, reflecting that this was so.

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied, "When white man found the land, Indians were running it. There were no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, women did all the work,. medicine man came free, Indian man spent all day hunting and fishing, and all night made love to his woman."

Then the Chief leaned back and smiled. "White man dumb enough to think he could improve a system like that."

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Support bacteria. It's the only culture some people have.

Sunday, July 08, 2007


I didn't want to practice my Spanish on my own b**g, so I thought I would show off here. We are now abierto for business.

Once again, I am Old Horsepuckey Smarts, sitting in for the wunnerful Raggedy Cats.

I have not talked to Raggedy in the last four days, on accounta she cannot read too well, given her headachy condition. But I think it's okay to say she is "coming along," as scientists would say.

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Here is some foods for thoughts:

Life is sexually transmitted.

Men have two emotions: Hungry, and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Some people are like a Slinky: Not really good for anything but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 1960s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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