Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Raggedy post #3


Raggedy is feelin' a bit like this at the moment.



Raggedy post #3

It seems that Raggedy is still not up to her usual bubbly self so I thought I would put up another post to try and cheer her up a little, I find I’m playing in the big league here, not just the legendary Hoss, but now the reincarnation of another legend FTS.

I'll hafta watch my Ps and Qs, oh well I'll try. Peter


92 years old.

An elderly man walks into a confessional.

The following conversation ensues:

Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years,
many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I
picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I
had sex with each of them three times."

Priest: "Are you sorry for your sins?"

Man: "What sins?"

Priest: "What kind of a Catholic are you?"

Man: "I'm Jewish."

Priest: "Why are you telling me all this?"

Man: "I'm 92 years old . I'm telling everybody!!"


Maxims for the Internet Age.

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

A journey of 1000 sites begins with a single click.

You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

Great groups from little icons grow.

Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

Too many clicks spoil the browse.

A chat has nine lives.

Don't byte off more than you can view.

Fax is stranger than fiction.

What boots up must come down.

Windows will never cease.

In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal.)

Virtual reality is it's own reward.

Modulation in all things.

There's no place like http:/www.home.com

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day;
teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you
for weeks.

ALASKAN RETIREMENT

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years.
Finally, sick of the stress he quits his job and
buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far away from
humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week
and gets groceries once a month,
otherwise there is total peace and quiet.

After 6 months of almost total isolation one day there
is a knock at his door. He opens it to see a huge
bearded man standing there, "Names Lars, I'm your
neighbor from 40 miles up the road.
Having a Christmas party Friday night about
5.00 o'clock.
Thought you might like to come.

"Great" says Tom,
"after 6 months out here I'm ready to meet
some local folk... Thank You."

As Lars is about to leave he says,"Gotta warn you...
Theres gonna be some drinkin'."

"Not a problem" says Tom,"after 25 years in the
business I can drink with the best of 'em."

Again the big man starts to leave and stops,
"More n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

"Well I get along with people. I'll be alright.
I'll be there... Thanks again."

"More n' likely be some wild sex too" says Lars.

"Now that's really not a problem" says Tom,
warming to the idea,"I've been alone for 6 months!
I'll definitely be there...
By the way what should I wear?"

"Don't much matter" says Lars,
"Theres just gonna be the two of us!"

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5 Comments:

Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Well, keep improving daily, Raggedy! I'll promise to totally piss off one email scammer a day until you're back ;)

June 14, 2007 7:53 AM  
Blogger Ralph said...

Those jokes are pretty darn good. Gave me a good laugh.
Ralph

June 14, 2007 10:01 AM  
Blogger OldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL...Funny jokes!
Raggedy...Thanks for visiting and so glad to hear you are doing so much better...I too feel this connection to you, to in many ways...the music, for one....(I miss that...) And the love of nature.
I look forward to seeing you blogging again because then I'll know you are a whole lot better! Hugs To You!

June 14, 2007 12:33 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

"Speak softly and carry a cellular phone." Oh, that they would....

June 14, 2007 1:45 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

Hi raggedy. Things are looking up for you. But what I've seen tonight--comments--you'd better leave anything long to the guests. So behave yourself and don't over-do it.
..

June 14, 2007 7:16 PM  

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