Thursday, June 14, 2007

Improving, Improving, Over the Bounding Main

I got a secret: Raggedy is s-l-o-w-l-y getting well better. I know this because she has commented on my b**g (I am Old Horsetail Snake at this here place). So she will be among us presently. Hoo boy and hooray.

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So (speaking of hospitals) a 45-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near-death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth. She figured that since she had so much time to live she wanted to look her best.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was run down and killed by a speeding ambulance.

Arriving before God she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 43 years? So why didn't you pull me from the path of that ambulance?"

God says, "Sorry. I didn't recognize you."

9 Comments:

Blogger Rachel said...

Very funny!!! I am glad that Raggedy is mending!

June 14, 2007 8:04 PM  
Blogger Peter said...

Good story Hoss.
Great to see a couple of comments Raggedy, God speed for your full recovery.

June 14, 2007 9:23 PM  
Blogger Gattina said...

I only realize now that Raggedy is sick and can't post, I am so sorry, I was on holidays and missed this. Give her my best wishes and that she comes back soon ! Meanwhile you do a great job !

June 14, 2007 10:04 PM  
Blogger STANDARD BUTTERFLY WINGS said...

I hope that you get completely better soon. :-)

June 15, 2007 1:20 AM  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Raggedy is definitely on the mend; she left comments on three in my blog ;)

June 15, 2007 4:52 AM  
Blogger Cliff said...

After reading the joke I have one thing to say. Get well soon Raggedy.

June 15, 2007 5:33 AM  
Blogger kenju said...

Raggedy, I am happy to know you are on the mend. Lucky you are to have Hoss subbing for you!

June 15, 2007 6:27 AM  
Blogger Meow (aka Connie) said...

Raggedy, I'm glad you are on the mend. It has been wonderfully interesting reading your guest posters ... they all have great blogs ... but you sure are missed.
Have a wonderful weekend, all of you.
Take care, Meow

June 15, 2007 7:22 AM  
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June 15, 2007 8:01 AM  

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