Saturday, March 03, 2007

Happy Birthday Laura!

Today is my sister’s birthday.

My first memories
I was trying to change your diaper and you rolled all of the sudden and fell from the changing table. I heard you hit the floor. I yelled for Mom. She came and checked you over and you were alright. I was scared to death that I had hurt my baby sister.
I used to steal sugar packets from restaurants and hide them. I would dip your pacifier in the sugar packets and give you your pacifier back. You gave me the biggest smiles!

You are my gorgeous baby sister. Here you are in Avalon with the wind blowing your beautiful hair.

Here you are in Avalon feeding your new stuffed dog.

Mark was helping you with a present on Christmas.

I was visiting from college and you were in the 9th grade. An older boy asked you to the prom. You looked so beautiful in your prom dress!

This is a picture of you when I came for a visit while I was in the military.

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.
~Charles M. Schulz

I am well aware that there are differences in how we remember the same events. I read once about sisters who got together and began chatting about the past. Even though they were together at the same time for the same event their experiences were totally different from one another.

I am concerned because your early memories of our childhood may be negative. When you remember our early childhood time together you remember feeling hurt and pain. I am sorry. I am sorry for teasing you. Please remember that I was not all grown up at the time myself. Mark and I were older but we were still children ourselves. We laughed and teased you and called you names. I made you stay up to play monopoly or horses with me. We did not do it to BE mean. You fought back the only way you knew how with yelling “I’m telling!”

I now understand how truly afraid you were when we hid the tape recorder in the attic to scare you. I now understand how afraid you were to step on the floor to get to the bathroom at night. If I was an adult I would have held and comforted you.

I have always loved you. I know that is very hard to understand from your childhood perspective.

I have always thought you were the most beautiful little girl I had ever seen.
I brag about you to my friends, acquaintances and colleagues.
I missed you when I went off to college.
I missed you when I left to join the military.
I worried about you during your teen years. I can’t tell you the panic and fear that ran though me when I heard about your car accidents. I was thousands of miles away when I got those terrible phone calls from Mom. She was crying the whole time she was trying to tell me what happened. You can’t possibly know how grateful and thankful I am that you were never seriously injured.

You grew up while I was away.

To the outside world we all grow old, but not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family grief and joys. We live outside the touch of time. ~Clara Ortega

I enjoyed the time we had together when I was living back at Moms. I remember how hard we laughed and how much fun we had. I enjoyed every visit that we came to see you. I enjoyed every visit that you made to Moms house. When I watch you dance I can’t take my eyes off of you! You can dance girl! Wow! I still have the video with you dancing with Joe.

Nichole at Dads house.

I could not find a pictures of Nichole with my oldest son Anthony.
I have them on video only.

Raggedy and Anthony.

These are pictures from your holiday visits at Moms.
The group photo with Mark is from Laura's house.

These pictures was taken when Dad took Nichole and Joe to the Baltimore Aquarium. The children loved the dolphin show!

Not only were you a beautiful little girl
you are now an exquisite woman.
You had an angelic baby girl who is now a lovely woman.

I am proud of you. I admire you.
I love you more than I can express in words.

I ask about you whenever I have a conversation
or visit with Mom or Dad.

Whenever I tried to call you in the past you were too busy to talk to me. I called and left messages and my calls were not returned. I ended up feeling like a stalker or intruder in your life. I stopped calling.

One of my hopes is that one day you will be able to find some time to spend with me even if it can only be on the phone. Even e-mail would be great. It is painful to be distant from you. I want to be closer. I wish we could spend more time talking and sharing our lives. I miss you. I love you. You are always in my heart.

I hope your birthday is fabulous!

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Blogger Jeanette said...

Hi Raggedy,
Happy birthday to laura.
lovely family stoy and photo's thaks for sharing (((Hugs)))

March 03, 2007 5:22 AM  
Blogger Miss Cellania said...

Happy Birthday, Laura! That is so cool to see all those pictures from your younger days.

March 03, 2007 5:57 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Raggedy, I hope you and your sister are able to have a relationship at some point. My sister and I aren't really close on a day-to-day basis - we don't really talk on the phone much, etc, but when she comes to visit or I go down there to visit we have a great time, lots of laughs. We should be closer on the day-to-day but we're not.

Happy Birthday to Laura!

March 03, 2007 10:10 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

What a heartfelt birthday post and apology.
I hope you sister reads this and forgives whatever has caused her to pull away from you.
Family is the most important thing on this planet.
It would be wonderful if your relationship would be healed.

Happy B-day to your lovely sister!!

March 03, 2007 10:40 AM  
Blogger Rachel said...

This was a very touching post. I hope your sister reads it and that you two can reconnect. I never had a sister but I think it would be great!

Happy birthday to her!!

March 03, 2007 12:23 PM  
Blogger Leann said...

I can feel your heart.its hard when family drift.I havent seen my baby brother in 15 years.he will not talk to any of us.we dont know why.he just up and left us all behind.its can only pray for the Lord to work things out.God bless you friend.

March 03, 2007 1:05 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Is this a peaen? Yes, I think it is, indeed, a paean, spelled differently to cover my bets.

March 03, 2007 3:59 PM  
Blogger Raggedy said...

Hoss has me looking up words now…
–noun 1. any song of praise, joy, or triumph.
Thanks for keeping me educamated babe!

March 03, 2007 4:14 PM  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Raggedy ~~ Sorry to be so behind with my replies. This was an awesome post and it should melt your sister's heart if she reads it. If not, why don't you print it and send it to her. It was so sincere and loving.
Thank you so much for decoding that wingding thing and putting it in comments. Very good of you, my friend. Thank you also for the picture of the corned beef, glad it turned out so well and thanks for the link. I had some for lunch awhile ago and I put Mustard sauca on it - Yummy. Glad you enjoy my posts. Thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers for my kidney stone problem
which gets fixed tomorrow (I hope)
Take care, dear friend, Love, Merle

March 03, 2007 11:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's such a cute video. I love your pics. It has a sense of time captured in them.

March 06, 2007 3:32 AM  
Blogger keving said...

New to your site and glad I stopped by. Can't even begin to type how much I related to your entry. I hope your sister get's the chance to read this entry, you make your self known in such an honest fashion. I'm currently estranged from my 2 younger brothers, and my path was very similar to yours, except I never made time for my youngest brother. You had me thinking re: siblings getting together and talking about the past, as perspectives can be totally different, whilst talking about the same event. Thanks for sharing this.

March 07, 2007 12:30 PM  

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