Thursday Thirteen (17th)

Maybe you need to pick a new lawyer.

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."



1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

4. He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

5. During the trial you catch him playing poker on his cell phone.

6. He tells you “My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.”

7. He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."

8. Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

9. He frequently gives juror No. 4 an obscene gesture.

10. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

11. The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

12. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

13. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"

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