Thursday, February 15, 2007

Thursday Thirteen (17th)

Maybe you need to pick a new lawyer.

A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."



1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."

3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

4. He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."

5. During the trial you catch him playing poker on his cell phone.

6. He tells you “My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.”

7. He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."

8. Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

9. He frequently gives juror No. 4 an obscene gesture.

10. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.

11. The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."

12. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."

13. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged!

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107 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't great to poke fun at the legal profession? Happy TT.

February 14, 2007 9:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO!!!

February 14, 2007 10:04 PM  
Blogger Di said...

I think you could build a sit-com around this...Scrubs meets LA Law!!!

February 14, 2007 10:16 PM  
Blogger Mia said...

LOL...too funny!!
Great list!
Happy TT!

February 14, 2007 10:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are so many ways to poke fun at nearly any profession...what's really scary is when you see people in those professions acting out those behaviors. :D

February 14, 2007 10:50 PM  
Blogger Rashenbo said...

Lol... he said, "briefs" heh heh heh :)

This is a great list. I had quite a few chuckles from this :)

Happy Thursday

February 14, 2007 10:52 PM  
Blogger Crazy Working Mom said...

Great list! Those were great. I loved Budweiser and No refunds!
*Giggles*

Happy Thursday.

February 14, 2007 10:54 PM  
Blogger Vickie said...

Those were great---but they came from the "Cool One" so of course they would be.

Take care, you are special

February 14, 2007 11:59 PM  
Blogger Gattina said...

Ha,ha,ha that's too funny ! I just need a lawyer this one would be perfect !

February 15, 2007 12:02 AM  
Blogger KarenW said...

LOL! That would just be sad if anyone's lawyer were like that.

February 15, 2007 12:19 AM  
Blogger WendyWings said...

LOL great list, happy Thursday. Nearly Friday for me :)

February 15, 2007 12:51 AM  
Blogger Lexa Roséan said...

very funny and scarey too

February 15, 2007 2:15 AM  
Blogger Sunflower said...

Funny:-)

Happy TT!

I will Exercise for Comments!
Sunflower

February 15, 2007 2:31 AM  
Blogger courtney said...

hilarious! great 13.

February 15, 2007 2:53 AM  
Blogger Jeanette said...

Hi Raggedy."A big belated happy birthday to Dad"
I hope i never get a lawyer like him.I had a good laugh. hehehehe.
Pleased you liked my garden.Take care ((((HUGS)))Jen

February 15, 2007 4:10 AM  
Blogger Fence said...

lol, love the air quotes one.

Happy T13

February 15, 2007 4:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! Love the list. Thanks for sharing. :)

February 15, 2007 5:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very creative TT.

Thanks for giving me a laught on this below zero wind chilled morning!

Thanks for visiting!

February 15, 2007 5:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! These gave me a serious case of the giggles. Great list!

Thanks for visiting my blog, and Happy TT!

February 15, 2007 5:54 AM  
Blogger Caylynn said...

LOL! :D Too funny! Thanks for the laughs. :) The cartoon is cute too. :)

Thanks for stopping by and happy T13. :)

February 15, 2007 5:57 AM  
Blogger Knitting Maniac said...

Oh My Gosh! Excellent list!!!

Thanks for stopping by!

February 15, 2007 6:21 AM  
Blogger Angela said...

Thanks for stopping by...I'm glad I stopped by here! This is a great list - I really liked the high-fivin' prosecutors! My BIL is a lawyer with a great sense of humor...I'll have to send him your way!

Happy T13!

February 15, 2007 6:33 AM  
Blogger Dragonheart, Merlin, Devi, and Chloe said...

Very funny! :) Terrific list. :)

Thanks for visiting!

February 15, 2007 6:34 AM  
Blogger ChupieandJ'smama (Janeen) said...

Oh.My.Word. I know this guy. It's my neighbor (and I'm not kidding here). Scary! Yes, my neighbor is a lawyer (un-employed lawyer for over a year now) and he fits the bill on most if not all of those. Too funny. I'm copying your list and e-mailing to my hubby. He'll get a kick out of this. Thanks for sharing and I noticed that yesterday was your Dad's birthday. Happy birthday Dad!

February 15, 2007 6:45 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

Great list. Thanks for the giggles, and for visiting my TT :-).

February 15, 2007 7:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow. that would be a bit scary

February 15, 2007 7:01 AM  
Blogger -atomik kitten said...

ha ha ha!!! Thanks for the great laugh!!!! Happy TT!!

February 15, 2007 7:08 AM  
Blogger Jenni said...

Oh gosh, that made me laugh!

February 15, 2007 7:13 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

I had that Lawyer once I'm sure.

February 15, 2007 7:14 AM  
Blogger Susan Helene Gottfried said...

OMG, I can SO see myself meeting this dude and then being stuck with him and not knowing how to fire him!!

Maybe he belongs in some fiction? *grin* If I get the time, I'll bring him to life for you, Raggedy.

Happy TT! Thanks for stopping by West of Mars. (I'll holler if I do the lawyer so you see it)

February 15, 2007 7:17 AM  
Blogger MaR said...

LOL, what a good laugh!
happy TT!

February 15, 2007 7:18 AM  
Blogger Joely Sue Burkhart said...

*giggles* Priceless!

February 15, 2007 7:19 AM  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Add "you need to pick a new lawyer when you begin shouting "Objection!" as your lawyer stands up to speak..."

February 15, 2007 7:22 AM  
Blogger Jewel said...

Oh my word!! These were too funny!! Thanks for the smiles so early in the morning! Have a great Thursday!! http://downinmylittlevalley.blogspot.com

February 15, 2007 7:23 AM  
Blogger Daisy said...

You are too funny! I like number 7 best! Happy TT!

February 15, 2007 7:23 AM  
Blogger Carina said...

Beautiful! Loved all of them!

February 15, 2007 7:28 AM  
Blogger Carey said...

Those were funny! Thanks for the laugh. Happy TT.

February 15, 2007 7:30 AM  
Blogger Robyn Mills said...

Very funny. Thanks for visiting...

February 15, 2007 7:38 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

If a lawyer don't do none of this , does it means that he is a good one?

February 15, 2007 7:39 AM  
Blogger 1morechapter said...

Great list! Thanks for stopping by.

February 15, 2007 7:43 AM  
Blogger The Rock Chick said...

Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Answer: Professional Courtesy

Haha! (Sorry. I couldn't resist!) Loved your list and the "Case of Budweiser". Must have been a hard one to crack open :)Super fun list! Thanks for the giggles :)

Jessica

February 15, 2007 7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"...little hammer..."

*heh*

February 15, 2007 7:50 AM  
Blogger Monica said...

THOSE were hilarious. They were so funny, I'm not even gonna comment on the Texas part of it. LOL.

February 15, 2007 8:14 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

LOL! That was a great list. I especially like #7 and #8.

February 15, 2007 8:16 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

That's a funny list! I'm one of those people that can't tell jokes at all. My one & only joke:

Why did the turtle cross the street?

--

To get to the shell station.

Told you I couldn't tell jokes!

BTW,I'm a first time Thurs 13er, and I'm having fun visiting everyone's lists!

February 15, 2007 8:25 AM  
Blogger Ralph said...

Those are Great!
Ralph

February 15, 2007 8:53 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Lol! That was funny esp the the one with the hammer is the judge right?

Bdw, I did the 13 fave magnets at your request last week. Hope you can drop by and see it.

February 15, 2007 8:53 AM  
Blogger Ralph said...

Those are Great!
Ralph

February 15, 2007 8:53 AM  
Blogger Darla said...

Hee. Cute. Love the cartoon, too.

February 15, 2007 8:56 AM  
Blogger Nathalie said...

I would be VERY scared if I had a lawyer like that! :)
Happy TT!

February 15, 2007 9:00 AM  
Blogger DK said...

This is a great list! I'm guessing you're not too fond of lawyers at present... Happy TTing, and thanks for stopping by my blog!
DK
http://aflyoverblog.typepad.com

February 15, 2007 9:02 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Those were a hoot! Happy Thursday!

Thanks for your comment on my blog. I'm glad you like my Gee Whiz Thursdays. I try to see the humor in life and the gee whiz thing helps me do that (except for the shooting, of course).

I hope you have a wonderful day! Love & big hugs!

February 15, 2007 9:04 AM  
Blogger Barb said...

Hilarious!!! duck-duck-goose.. haha!

Thanks for dropping by.

February 15, 2007 9:04 AM  
Blogger Lori's Light Extemporanea said...

Oh my! Too funny (and too scary!)

Happy TT!

February 15, 2007 9:22 AM  
Blogger Qtpies7 said...

Haha! Good stuff!

February 15, 2007 9:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

now that would be a very bad sign.

February 15, 2007 9:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! Too funny!!!

February 15, 2007 10:12 AM  
Blogger JAM said...

These were all great. I loved the one when the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high five each other.

Thanks for visiting my T13 today.

February 15, 2007 10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hee Hee Love it!

February 15, 2007 10:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO!

Great list! I'm still giggling @ 7. He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."

I thought of FRIENDS and Chandler.

Thanks for stopping by my blog, I so needed this giggle!

February 15, 2007 10:44 AM  
Blogger Uisce said...

OMG I think I actually LMAO!! thanks for some really great laughs!! happy TT, mine's up!

February 15, 2007 10:44 AM  
Blogger Carmen said...

i hope my real estate attorney isn't like that! ha ha

February 15, 2007 10:57 AM  
Blogger Julia said...

LOL that was great list, I find myself laughing at some of them!

Hey Heather - I thoughts of FRIENDS and Chandler too! LOL

Thanks for visiting my blog!

February 15, 2007 11:16 AM  
Blogger Sparky Duck said...

great list

I would add "he thinks appearing on Judge Judy would be a good idea"

February 15, 2007 11:39 AM  
Blogger Christie O. said...

you said briefs!!! (beavis and butthead laugh here)
too funny, great list! happy tt!

February 15, 2007 11:43 AM  
Blogger Gene Bach said...

Gotta watch out for those lawyers! LOL!

February 15, 2007 11:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These are funny! Thank you for the list!

February 15, 2007 1:03 PM  
Blogger Angela/SciFiChick said...

I always get a laugh out of your lists!

February 15, 2007 1:19 PM  
Blogger Cafe Cats said...

LOL! Too funny! Thanks Raggedy!

My TT is up too.

February 15, 2007 1:34 PM  
Blogger Mercy's Maid said...

Too funny! I really liked #12.

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

February 15, 2007 1:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aahahahaaa!!!!!

A great list for sure!

Thank you for stopping by today.

Happy TT.

Ryan

February 15, 2007 1:51 PM  
Blogger Jessica Morris said...

Haha! So funny!!! Thats a great list!!

February 15, 2007 1:58 PM  
Blogger L^2 said...

LOL! Love #3!
Thanks for visiting my list.
Happy TT! :-)

February 15, 2007 2:10 PM  
Blogger Lazy Daisy said...

These are really funny. Thanks for the good laugh!

February 15, 2007 2:21 PM  
Blogger zhasha said...

so-so funny!

thumbs up!

February 15, 2007 3:19 PM  
Blogger scooper said...

I think everybody has said all that I wanted to say. Hilarious list.

February 15, 2007 3:24 PM  
Blogger Melessa Gregg said...

LOL! This is a great list! Thanks for visiting.

February 15, 2007 3:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ahahahha very good!

February 15, 2007 3:36 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Those are great!

I have a feeling that Mr. Moe is gonna get that job!

I hope you had a nice Valentine's Day.
I had some dark chocolate!! (no surprise there)

I won't have a new post up until the weekend. I've been too busy the past few days, and I'm using whatever spare time I have to visit blog buddies.
Stop by JD's this weekend!! That's me, BTW. :)

I hope you have plans for a nice weekend, Raggedy.

February 15, 2007 4:06 PM  
Blogger YellowRose said...

Very funny stuff!! Happy TT!!

February 15, 2007 4:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Number 7 is my fave!

Thanks for calling in...

February 15, 2007 4:31 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

I think I know someone with this lawyer lol. A funny TT.

February 15, 2007 4:32 PM  
Blogger Deb @ Sugarfused said...

Those are so funny! My favorite tv show is Boston Legal and lots of those you have listed could apply to how the lawyers behanve in that show ;~)

February 15, 2007 4:54 PM  
Blogger Deb @ Sugarfused said...

um, that would be *behave*...

February 15, 2007 4:55 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

Thanks for the laugh. What a hoot!
Happy TT!!!

February 15, 2007 5:28 PM  
Blogger Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

What fun to read! Gonna have to take the cell phone away.

February 15, 2007 5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh, I'd want to be getting a new lawyer!

February 15, 2007 5:36 PM  
Blogger Jenny McB said...

What a riot! I can just picture this guy in a nice polyester suit with a soup stain on his tie!

February 15, 2007 6:27 PM  
Blogger Haley-O (Cheaty) said...

Ha! Funny stuff, as usual! Thanks for the chuckles! :)

February 15, 2007 6:55 PM  
Blogger FreddieGirl said...

that's a great list... will send the link to my SIL, who's a lawyer

February 15, 2007 7:48 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

thanks for the thursday thirteen giggles :) great TT!

February 15, 2007 8:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great 13! It's always fun laughing about lawyers.
Thanks for visiting.

February 15, 2007 9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wouldn't doubt that some lawyers like these exist!

February 15, 2007 9:11 PM  
Blogger Barbara said...

RUN, don't walk - away from that lawyer!!

Check out my TT

February 15, 2007 9:52 PM  
Blogger OldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL, LOL....Very cute!

February 15, 2007 10:04 PM  
Blogger Amy's Blah, Blah, Blogging said...

You got to love a good lawyer joke!

February 15, 2007 10:11 PM  
Blogger Scribbit said...

Oh how funny that we were both thinking about attornies!

And I too love a good lawyer joke.

Here's one:

I have some good news and some bad news, the good news is that a bus full of lawyers went over a cliff. The bad news? Three empty seats.

That's almost too mean to be funny but I still chuckle nonetheless.

February 15, 2007 11:32 PM  
Blogger Merle said...

Hi Raggedy ~~ Great lawyer jokes.I hope your Dad had a lovely birthday.
Thank you so much for your lovely comments about my posts Raggedy, They
are much appreciated. Glad yu enjoy your visits here. Take care, Love,
Merle.

February 16, 2007 12:06 AM  
Blogger Brought to you by Her Majesty Magenta said...

What a fun TT. I laughed out loud at nmber 1! Thanks

February 16, 2007 12:22 AM  
Blogger EV said...

Funny stuff, Raggedy!!!

February 16, 2007 5:53 AM  
Blogger FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

This is just hilarious. Imagine having a lawyer like this! I would immediately change him.
Thanks for the visit.

February 16, 2007 5:56 AM  
Blogger Twisted Cinderella said...

This was just too funny!

February 16, 2007 7:26 AM  
Blogger Ed Bremson, MFA said...

funny, Raggedy.

February 16, 2007 9:48 AM  
Blogger BlueBugg said...

ROFL!

February 16, 2007 10:14 AM  
Blogger Walker said...

LMAO!!!!!!!
I think I saw my lawyer in there

February 16, 2007 4:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL this was PERFECT since I had Jury Duty this week (ACK!! At least it was only a 3 day trial)

Thanks for the laughs and Happy T13!!

February 16, 2007 8:34 PM  
Blogger Miss Cellania said...

Oh man, that is EXACTLY my lawyer! They must've used him for a model. The only reason he's my lawyer is because he was an old drinking buddy of mmy husband's, so if I really needed some expertise, I'd go with someone else.

February 17, 2007 10:33 PM  

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