Monday, July 03, 2006

The Husband Store



Women Quotes:

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattentions of one. -- Helen Rowland

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Marriage begins when you sink into his arms and ends with your arms in the sink.


A Good One!

The Husband Store!

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch . ... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay.

She goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!


Men Quotes:

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage the " Y" becomes silent.

By all means marry! If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. –Socrates

For Both:

"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle." --Sam Levenson

Labels:

24 Comments:

Blogger Merle said...

Hi Raggedy ~~ Some great jokes there.
I loved the cartoon too.
Thanks for your comments, glad you enjoy the posts and thanks for thinking of Kathy. She will be fine.
Take care, Merle.

July 03, 2006 3:28 AM  
Blogger Karen said...

Love it, Raggedy! LOL Thanks for the giggles. I hope you had a great weekend. *HUGS*

July 03, 2006 5:48 AM  
Blogger Buffy said...

Oh, I love these. :)

July 03, 2006 7:34 AM  
Blogger Vickie said...

These are some great one---thanks for the giggles Raggedt. You always give me a lift. :)

July 03, 2006 7:55 AM  
Blogger DBFrank said...

Wonder if I should have read these before last weekend? ;)

July 03, 2006 8:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!

July 03, 2006 9:21 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

Funny stuff Raggedy

July 03, 2006 10:11 AM  
Blogger Ed Bremson, MFA said...

I notice you haven't claimed your blog at

http://technorati.com

I think most bloggers do that. It enables them to see who links to them, and is really just another way to promote your blog.

July 03, 2006 1:06 PM  
Blogger Monica said...

I love the jokes and even had the one about the store on my blog before! Have a great and happy and safe 4th of July!

July 03, 2006 1:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL Raggedy. Glad I tracked you down. That was so much fun the other night. And I love your pix. Are you a race car driver or something?

July 03, 2006 1:32 PM  
Blogger Mama Duck said...

Hee hee hee, thanks for the laugh this afternoon!

July 03, 2006 2:14 PM  
Blogger mikey said...

I find your blog to be a good read :P I found it via your comments on wks site. Btw if this puts my name as mikey, id like to say i regret putting that as my user name.
farg

July 03, 2006 2:19 PM  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Loved the "chemistry/toxic waste" line. Sounds like the originator met my ex-fiancee...

July 03, 2006 2:27 PM  
Blogger Monica said...

I don't have msn but I just wanted to let you know that I just summarized the joke several months ago and you told it right and in its entirety...great minds think alike! Anytime you have a joke that good, GF, post it!!

July 03, 2006 2:30 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

The husband store really cracks me up!
It reminded of a joke I received in an email about an Amish family that goes to town. They never saw an elevator before. The father and son are watching as an old lady goes into the elevator, and then just a moment later a young, attractive lady comes out.
The Amish father says to his son, "Go get your mother."

Enjoy your holiday!!!!!

July 03, 2006 2:55 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

4 million, 300+ thousand, huh? And I bet the number will be about double by the time I get this comment publi..

July 03, 2006 3:02 PM  
Blogger Ladybug Crossing said...

Ha!!!
"Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence." Mr. Bug's famous one liner...
LBC

July 03, 2006 4:19 PM  
Blogger Hale McKay said...

LOL ! Some good ones there.

July 03, 2006 8:55 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Funny stuff Raggedy!!

July 03, 2006 11:09 PM  
Blogger mrhaney said...

hello rggedy. you may not want me here right now but i came here to oplologize to you if i offended you in any way. that was not my intent at all. i feel that you are a very patriotic person and i welcome your oppinion on my blog. if you go back to my blog you will see i have said the same thing for all to see. sorry for any misunderstanding. i do not intentionally try to hurt people. it some times happens though even when i think i am being on my best behavior. you are always welcome to my blog and i hope you visit again. if you were to ask my wife she would tell you that i am no day at the beach. i am an aquired taste but i mean no harm.
have a great 4th and i hope to talk to you soon.

July 03, 2006 11:10 PM  
Blogger David Edward said...

thank you for all of this - i laughed and that is always a blessing. happy 4th of July

July 04, 2006 12:04 AM  
Blogger Miss Cellania said...

Funny stuff ya got here, Raggedy!

July 04, 2006 12:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cant remember how I got here...but glad to find you...
lots of laughs in this post !!
happy 4th

July 04, 2006 5:03 PM  
Blogger Abby said...

I love the husband store joke! LOL!

July 09, 2006 3:39 PM  

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