Thursday, June 15, 2006

Thursday Thirteen (2nd)

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?

Thirteen Really Fun Things To Do When You Go Shopping

1. Get boxes of condoms, randomly put them in people's carts when they're not looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10 minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of apple juice on the floor to the restroom.

4. Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to 10.

5. Challenge other customers to a duel with tubes of gift wrap.

6. Put M & M's on layaway.

7. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I.Joes and X-Men.

8. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

9. Switch signs on the men and women's bathrooms.

10. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission Impossible".

11. In the auto department practice your "Madonna" look using different size funnels.

12. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say: "PICK ME!! PICK ME!!!!!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

I don’t want to tempt fate with the number 13 so I am adding a bonus one. My original list was 26 things... tee hee

Go into the fitting room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of toilet paper in here!!


Blogger Karen said...

I've tried the "pick me" and learned a big lesson. Watch out for the shoes of the person you're jumping out of. He could be a big hairy dude that wants to marry ya. LOL

Have a great day!

June 15, 2006 5:52 AM  
Blogger Karen said...


June 15, 2006 5:52 AM  
Blogger Cliff said...

I know what you mean about the 'voices'.
I'll try some of these.

June 15, 2006 5:56 AM  
Blogger Peter said...

Funny stuff Raggedy, sorry you weren't on the first list , it was gettin' too long, please join in and do a list though.
Peter; "Meanie"????

June 15, 2006 7:32 AM  
Blogger Skunkfeathers said...

Another to add: with a remote controlled fart machine, place the speaker in the lingerie section, then stand back (the remote has a range of about 30-40 feet with a fresh battery) and activate it at opportune moments ;)

Walmart hates me...

June 15, 2006 9:30 AM  
Blogger Monica said...

these are so funny...I will be updating my blogroll this afternoon or tomorrow and hope it's okay to add you...take care!

June 15, 2006 10:09 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Oh, my goodness! Those are a riot.
The apple juice trail to the restrooms and that last one are potty humor at its finest.
I also like the condom one. I guess you could do that with Depends and KY Jelly too. What fun!

June 15, 2006 3:05 PM  
Blogger cube said...

LOL! But then again, I'm not a retailer.

June 15, 2006 4:00 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

These are terrific ideas, Raggedy. And I love the opening line: " come nothing is free." Never thought of it before, but now, of course, I will like about it all the time.

June 15, 2006 7:06 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

....I will "think" about it all the time. I am so bad at typing...

June 15, 2006 7:08 PM  
Blogger Walker said...

LMAO @ Wal Mart abd so true,
I have actaully bought someone elses groceries my mistache thinking it was my cart because the items were so close.
They were all great
Have a nice weekend

June 15, 2006 10:25 PM  
Blogger Deb @ Sugarfused said...

Hahahahah!!!! You're funny :))

Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

June 16, 2006 4:31 PM  

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