Ron White in Fargo

We went to see Ron White in Fargo. Ron probably made well over a quarter million dollars for that one evening. Not really but I am sure he took home at least $20,000 for standing there and talking for 45 minutes. We spent fifty dollars in petro to drive to Fargo and see him. We spent a hundred dollars for the two tickets. We sat on metal folding chairs! We had to sit behind Hyena woman. She was louder than Ron and he had a microphone. The entire civic center heard her. Her laugh was being mocked from above us in the bleachers and behind us in our section. She wasn’t even laughing at the appropriate times to laugh. The pitch was like fingernails on a chalkboard. It started out with a long Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! raising in pitch the entire time for about 5 seconds to a higher hiihiihiihiihii! for five seconds like a hiccup, and another heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! even higher for another 5 seconds. A full fifteen second screech over and over! My voice would not go that high if I was swimming in shark infested waters screaming Help! She left three quarters of the way through Ron’s act and people clapped louder for her leaving than they did for Ron himself. Ron was good but it took a mighty effort to tune out the 300 pound Hyena heifer who barely fit in one chair. She actually sat on two chairs until the rest of her party arrived. Hyena woman was in a party of 5. One older woman who never even cracked a smile was to the left of Hyena woman, probably her mother. To the right of Hyena woman was another 300 pound heifer, then a little skinny 90 pound stick girl, whose cell phone kept ringing during the show and she was answering it and talking. On the end, isle seat, was a male who kept leaving for more beer. Did i mention I am gaining on obtaining heifer status myself? Hyena woman was directly in front of me. I felt sorry for who ever was sitting in front of her.
I have listened to Ron via audio, from way back, when he did his truck stop act. I followed his career from stand up comedy, through the blue collar tour years, up until the present time. I was never interrupted by Hyena woman. I heard some material I had heard before in his act, but a lot of it was new and he was very funny. The subject matter was from his experiences on his present tour and stories from his life past and present. Ron put on a very good show. This was his last show before heading home to his family. He was loosing his voice near the end of the act and apologized. During the act he thanked us, the paying audience, for buying his Mothers house, his house, and his wonderful new couch. We were sitting on metal folding chairs! Yes, I am aware I said that before. I wonder who the joke is on now? Well Ron, we paid, you performed, you took our money, and yes it was worth it and yes you were funny. Larry, my husband, was tense the entire time. Rigid tense like a steel beam. He said he would have been more comfortable if he was carrying a baseball bat with 9 inch spikes coming out of it to bash people with. He would have loved removing the drunk idiots and hyena woman.

The least favorite of the blue comedy tour group for me is Larry the Cable Guy. However, there were a lot of Larry fans in the audience and we heard them as we entered the civic center. There was a horde of GIT ER DONE! hoots and yells from the drunken moron groups. This confirms Jeff Foxworthy's notion that, yes, red necks can be found anywhere. Ron's connection with the red neck crowds through blue collar comedy brought them out from where they were hiding. There were swarms of hillbilly Fargonians. You do not normally notice them because they are spread out amongst the normal people.